I think it was my parents and the way they raised me that made truth and the search for it such a pillar of my beliefs. Even today, one of my flaws is that I can't even tell the little white lies that make some people so successful. I just can not bring myself to add that layer of duplicity that makes politicians and those who promise things they can't deliver so successful. In turn, I surround myself with other truthmongers, and I value the people who have the skill for discerning a lie quickly. I would love it if.....Liar, liar, pants on fire....would really happen when people told lies. LOL.
I don't know if others value the truth as deeply as I do, but I live my life as if they do. Just a few weeks ago, I encountered a scenario where I had to dig for the truth at work. The digging led to an uncomfortable situation, but the end result has been that I have strengthened a relationship between one of my teacher leaders and myself at school. The interesting thing about the whole story is that the lie was actually just a misunderstanding. A teacher believed that I had not released her from contract to transfer for a job at another school. When I discovered this information was being shared on campus, I quickly located the email from the other principal that confirmed that this was not the case. I also called the teacher in for a chat and explained the damage that could be done to my credibility if her information contradicted mine. At that stage, the faculty who heard both stories would be forced to choose between which story they believe to be true, and this would be confusing to them and unfair to me. When we talked through the facts of the scenario, it turned out that the teacher believed her version of the story. It took the email from the other principal to show her the TRUTH. We came to agreement on how to proceed, and things are 100 times better in our relationship. While it was very difficult to dig deep and have these uncomfortable conversations, it was instrumental in correcting a misconception held by a staff member and in terminating any further confusion for those who tried to understand the facts. The truth had set us free.
Lastly, I stare at the truth about myself often....sometimes too often. I am, what you would call, acutely self-aware. I know my limitations, and I repeatedly measure myself with the truth of those limits. Sometimes this leads to insecurity because--being a perfectionist, I struggle with not being perfect! Age and experience have softened my critical mindset about my skills, and I have come to HUG THE CACTUS many times over so that I can grow and get stronger every year. With a growth mindset, I will use truth to help me improve.
So, truth is very important to me. I have tried to insist on the importance of truth in my friendships, my marriage, my motherhood, etc. I get most frustrated when my children violate my trust, and I love them no matter what, but I relentlessly look for the truth.
I love the idea of hugging the cactus - what a great analogy! I agree that we can build trust by being truthful with others, but we need to accept our own limitations and try not to be too hard on ourselves if we feel we sometimes don't measure up to our own image of ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI really believe that one can truly grow as a person if we learn to accept ourselves as we are. We can ten accept others as they are. I believe that we can then really build a community of trust.
I have recently been reading the posts of Richard Rohr - I think he has a great deal to say on this topic - I have posted some of his material on my staff blog.
We are always learning! Thanks