Total Page Views

Monday, January 20, 2014

Communication is All about Listening! #SAVMP 19




     Week 19 of the #SAVMP Project is about “communication essentials”, and I think most people will take the spin to write about how they're using social media to communicate. I decided to use a different twist for this assignment. I would have to say the greatest communication essential is the art of listening, and I have tried to develop better listening skills over the years. It has been a personal goal of mine to increase my listening capacity and, of course, I am still growing.  I take some solace in that I do believe I have shown improvement in this area. I am often trying to listen for longer than I speak.

     I consider myself a student of leadership, and many times over the years I have observed my Principals. When you are seated before them in the Principal’s office, I can recall having worked for different leaders who, when you would go into speak with them, they would turn away from you and begin working on their computer or clicking through emails. I would describe that feeling as feeling devalued as a human. I felt like they didn't care what I had to say or they were too busy to give me the time I sought from them.

     To be fair, though out the day, I have people who want to pop in my office. There have been times when I might be very, very busy, and their brief visit may keep me from leaving at closing time. BUT… no matter how long it delays my workday, I always keep my door open, and I always turn a watchful eye to my visitors. I sit and listen to what people have to say; it is part of leading. I want to develop the relationships with people.  It is sometimes difficult for me to stop and listen because I am so task oriented. It has been tough for me to develop this skill, but each year I get better and better at it.

     The benefits of listening outweigh the costs. I think the most important thing I gain from listening is that I begin to understand the people that make up our workforce, and they are most definitely people with human needs. For example, if someone is late to work two or three times, and this is not typical behavior, you cannot just attack that behavior. If you listen first and try to understand…you may learn that perhaps they have been late because they are having a rough time, or they are going through a divorce, or they are a single mom and they have got a sick child they are tending to… there so many factors that make up the human condition. You have to value the whole person.

     Let’s be honest.  I'm a really strong employee. Bosses have always loved me because I give my job 110%. But, even I have the need for a reprieve from exemplary work. Being full-on every single day can be exhausting. There are some days that my friend calls “needs improvement days.” AND… we all experience a needs improvement day every once in a while.  SO…. when someone misses a deadline or has a rough week or something just seems off about their performance, it really is very valuable to understand the person and that helps you to support them. Further, when your work relationship is grounded on trust and listening, it is easier to help folks grow through feedback….because they are ALSO willing to listen.

     One of the best books I've ever read that has helped me and shaped me as a leader was Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. One of Covey’s Habits is to “seek to understand first.” He describes communication as the most important skill in life. Typically, people spend years learning how to read and write and even learning how to speak. However, how much training do we have learning to listen? What training have you had that enables you to listen-- to really deeply understand another human being? We don't have a lot of training in listening. The way most people operate is that they seek first to be understood. Many people are only listening to you so that they can provide their response. They are awaiting their moment to get their point across because for the majority of the human race it's Me, Me, Me, I, Me, and Mine. Successful people, however, take the listening tactic. If you ignore the other person, of if you just pretend that you're listening or only hear certain parts of the conversation, you will miss the meaning entirely.

     Here is a powerful quote from Covey in regards to listening: “People listen with the intent to reply not to understand.”

     Many times you're running your own private thoughts through your brain. You are considering what you will say when it’s your turn, and pretty soon you're not even hearing what people are saying to you. The biggest area where I am growing right now is in my response time. I do get excited, and I do want to reply. I'm learning to bite my lip and listen before I reply.
Also, one of my New Year's Resolutions was to increase relationship building at work and get to know the people behind the faces. So listening is a good growth area for me as I continue to improve.

     Over the summer, our administrators had training by the Studer Group on Instructional Rounding. One of the items that was shared was about Employee Engagement Surveys. The information revealed what employees want when they come to work every day:

  1. Tools, equipment, and resources to do their job
  2.  A leader who cares about them
  3.  Help to be successful
  4.  A healthy work environment
  5.  Recognition when doing good work

     Numbers 2 - 4 and especially Number 2 are really things that Leaders can provide for employees if they take the first and most important step of….. LISTENING.

     If you listen to your employees, you'll know their needs.


{BLOG prepared using Voice Recognition Technology -- Errors will be worked out as
they are discovered. Thanks for your patience!}




Monday, January 6, 2014

Starting the New Year with Gratitude

     I was recently reading about a couple’s trip to Ghana. The story goes like this…”The couple shared a story about a smart three year old child—taking a soapy bath in a bucket outdoors in a nice rain. She looked at the camera and grinned, laughing about the wonderful little bath she was getting due to the rain. On her face was a confident look of blessed joy. Her humble village had only one deep well. ‘Children walked for miles every day to bring back their family’s water.’ So when the skies opened and poured down rain ‘everybody grabbed buckets and bowls, catching the water.’ Then on cue, the little girl’s mother handed her soap and a towel,” and the child tore off her clothes, scrambled into a bucket, and before you knew it, she was soapy from head to toe.” And…she was laughing about it all.” She didn't even have plumbing, but she had joy!

     As I thought about this story, I reflected on my toasty, warm showers in my own home. I thought about my comfortable bed and my refrigerator that contains all my favorite tasty treats. I was reminded of my precious family and all the amazing gifts that we have and should be grateful for—but often, we forget how much others suffer or how much we REALLY ARE blessed.

     Then, when I was on Twitter this weekend, I came across this Tweet (see below). I liked the Tweet so much that I retweeted it, and then a local reading coach and another principal retweeted my Tweet. This really brought it home to me …the thought of how much of a blessing we are to our students. We are often the only smiling face a child sees, and some of them prefer our classroom to their homes. Please remember, as we begin this school year anew in 2014-- remember that you make the difference for our students. Love them, listen to them, and equip them with the skills they need to create a safe and successful future. Ask them about something they did over the break. Build those relationships. They will love you for it!



                

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Work Hard! Play Hard!


I am going to deviate from my normal business minded posts tonight. Actually, my favorite Blog to read is AuburnChick. She always talks about the coolest personal things such as her Juicing or Vegan Recipes....her Harry Potter Ravelry knitting projects....her dogs....her children. I adore reading her posts because she is so REAL.

I long to post like she does, but I often find myself thinking, "Who cares what I have to say" or "What can I say that anyone hasn't already said?" I guess I have to remember the purpose of my Blogging adventure was to stretch my technology wings and do something that would be uncomfortable and cause me to grow....like many of the things that my faculty and staff are doing. We are all growing. So, I continue to BLOG. {BIG GRIN}.

Tonight I want to write about things that are important to me. :O)

Last Christmas, I worked during a lot of the break because I was a new Principal, and I was trying to get to know my school and the task at hand. Well, here I am a year later, and I promised myself that I would truly relax. AND I DID!

The motto driving this post is "Work hard! Play hard!" And tonight I want to write about the playing hard part. I relaxed and refreshed during this break. Here are a few of the things that occupied my time.



I got phase 3 of my ankle tattoo completed, and then I got another inspiration piece for my wrist.

Based on the verse, Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

I got the word, "Strength" on my wrist. I absolutely LOVE it!




I was able to finish a scrapbook I had been working on for my niece. This is my favorite page from the scrapbook. Yes, I know...tattoos and scrapbooks are quite the paradox. 


I sewed a new tree skirt for our Christmas Tree next year. I DESPISED the one we had under our tree this year.  


I started a new devotional. The new year is always a time for goal-setting and renewal for me. I spend a great deal of time selecting my devotional as it will set the theme for the year ahead. This past year, I finished The Uncommon Life by Tony Dungy. I selected it because I knew that my first year as a Principal would be a tough one, and Tony was a Super Bowl winning coach. What could be tougher than that?


I selected my new devotional called, God's Great Blessings Devotional by Patricia Raybon. I chose this one because I want to focus on gratitude for the upcoming year. I am truly blessed, and I need to constantly remember my blessed life.




I caught up on all my DVD SEASON purchases and finished at least three full seasons (CSI, DD, and Dexter) of the following:

      CSI Season 3, CSI Miami 4, Justified Season 4, NCIS Season 9, Duck Dynasty Season 1. AND... I finished the final season, Season 8, of one of my all-time favorite series, Dexter.




I cooked family meals and made Christmas cookies for friends and neighbors. 



I caught up with friends: Had coffee with Lisa, breakfast with Sandy, coffee with Angie, and dinner with the Wanamakers. 


I had several date nights with my adorable hubby who got me the best gift for our anniversary along with a dozen roses and some beautiful jewelry:




I upgraded to a Galaxy S4 that is the slickest of phones.



I exercised to my heart's content in my new Nike's. Yes, I have a fetish for Nike shoes. 


AND... there were many more wonderful, playful hours that filled my two weeks. I am grateful for my job which allows me chunks of time to reflect and renew. To carry me into the new year, I have also ordered two new books in my favorite genre, Science Fiction. Asimov and Heinlein.


For posterity, and for my dear children, this post is proof that I play just as hard as a I work! Work hard, play hard!